If Only I Had You
by sais sera
Summary: [OS]Inuyasha has finally pushed Kagome too far. Kagome never wants to see him again. Can the two swallow their pride and forgive each other, or will Kikyo, forever be between the two. [There might be a sequel, if there's 20 to 25 reviews]


_**If I Only Had You**_

**_Hello people! Thank you for going into my story., I hope you like it! _**

_**Disclaimer, I do not own Inuyasha.**_

Walking though the dense forest, she thought back on what she had just witnessed. It tore at her heart unlike anything she's ever felt. She knew that Kikyo was his first love, but she was dead. Tears started to drip from her chin as her head drooped alittle. His heart must have only been small enough to hold only one person who was dear to him. Kagome was sick and tired of him running off to the dead miko whenever she was somewhere nearby.

A tree limb snagged in her hair and she jerked her hair loose. Leaving a small bit of hair behind. What she had just saw, was far the worst thing she had ever seen. She paused in mid step when she heard Inuyasha call her name.

He must have caught her scent and just started looking for her now. She picked up her pace and started to run though the forest towards the well. Right now he was the last thing on earth she wanted to see, there was no way she could forgive him this time.

No way on earth. Bushes and shrubs tugged at her pants and shirt, as if they where trying to stop her. She ran into a thick bush of thorns and didn't slow down. They cut and sliced at her flesh and cloths. She didn't even slow down when she stumbled and lost her shoe.

Stomping her big toe on a rock she cursed under her breath. She could hear Inuyasha close behind her, any minute now he was going to catch sight of her and stop her from fleeing back to the safety of her own time. It was close to winter and the frost bit at her bare foot and legs as she stummbled on a root sticking up out of the ground.

Hitting her knees, she bit her bottom lip to stop from crying out. She got back to her feet and ran on. Without warning, she yelped as she went down a steep hill. Sliding on her butt, she closed her eyes tightly as she hit the bottom.

The well was in sight, right in front of her and Inuyasha wasn't far behind neither. She got to her feet again and ran as fast as she could to get to the well. Inuyasha spotted her running madly towards the well. He didn't know what she was running from, and jumped out infront of her. Landing in her path, she ran into him and he grabbed her shoulders. Her eyes darted back and forth as they stared into his own eyes.

She started to hit his chest and he let her. His grip tightened and he drew his face near. She reached back and slapped him with the back of her hand. Leaveing a red welp on his face, he drew her into his arms and hugged her tightly.

She faught back and hit at his chest until the tears that where being shed started to blind her. He held onto her as sobs racked her body. Every now and then she would hit him and he wouldn't flench. He pulled back and wipped away a tear that refused to let go of her cheek.

"Kagome, you're a mess." He said quietly.

"Let me go you--you traitor!" She cried at him and tried to push him away. He tighted his grip and held on tight as she struggled against him. "You promised me that you wouldn't see her again!" She said.

"I know--and I'm sorry. . . "

"Is that all you can say, you're sorry! You--you damn mutt!" Upon saying this, his grip loosened and she pushed him away and ran towards the well. She jumped though it and was filled with shame at calling him a mutt. At the bottom of the well in her time, she wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her face into her knees and cried.

Inuyasha fell to the ground, stunned at what she just called him. His mouth was openly slightly and he blinked a few times. The wind picked up and caught the small bit of hair that she left in the trees. The wind blew it lazily towards him, and it landed in his lap.

He picked up the tiny bit and clamped his hand shut. The sky over heard darkened and the thunder rummbled in the distance as lighting ripped the clouds apart and the clouds dropped their heavy loads upon the dry earth. Inuyasha lifted his head up and the cold rain drops miggled with his slient tears that escaped from his closed eyes.

Kagome stayed huddled in the well, she was so ashamed that she just called him a mutt. But she couldn't help he fury that coursed though her veins. But after she said that horrible word to him, the flame that burned in her veins died out to be replaced by ashes.

Tears dropped onto the dirt around her and she looked up at the ceiling of the well house. The images had burned themselfs into her mind and memories.

The others had told her that Inuyasha had run off again at the sight of one of Kikyo's shinadama chuu. (Or soul collecters.) Kagome was suddenly filled with fury and sorrow at once. Because just that morning, next to the Bone Eaters Well, Kagome no longer able to hide her feelings for him, confessed her love for the hanyou. After hearing this, he took her into his arms and kissed the crown of her head. That's when he told her that he was over Kikyo and wouldn't run off any more inorder to see her.

But, later that afternoon, he spotted one of the shinadama chuus and chased after it. His vow completely forgotten. Sango and Miroku had seen him in the distance running after it into the woods. At the time, Kagome was inside nurseing a sick Shippo back to health. The two came in and told her about him running off again.

Kagome left Shippo in the care of Kaede and ran in the direction in which Sango had pointed out. It took her about half an hour before she even saw one of the soul collecters. Kagome walked in a quick pace towards the tree where the souls and soul collecters where flying around the tree. She stopped a little ways in front of them and ducked behind a tree. Peeking out from behind it at the two.

Her heart fell to her feet and her blood turned to ice at what she saw. Kikyo was leaning against the tree, part of her kimono had slid off her shoulder and most of her left breast was bare. The outer top part of Inuyasha's kimono was missing, looking around, Kagome found that it was right beside her feet.

Kagome bent down and picked it up and held it to her chest. Looking back at the two, Inuyasha had her in his arms and was kissing along her bare collar bone.

A muffled sound escaped though Kagome's lips as she turned and ran away from the scene that she just saw. Her blood was still ice, and her heart had moved to the pit of her stomach as she ran. Inuyasha must have heard the sound because he jumped away from Kikyo and ran towards the tree where Kagome had just stayed seconds before.

He picked up the part of his kimono that she dropped and he could smell her scent on it. He bit his lower lip and cursed to himself. Kikyo had fixed her kimono and had vanished from the spot where he left her.

Inuyasha looked to where Kikyo had once been and growled at himself and took off after Kagome.

No more tears fell from her eyes as she climbed out of the well. She knew that her family was out in town that day because the day before yesterday she had came back home to pay a visit to her family. Today was Sota's birthday and they where out haveing a good time. Kagome told them to leave without her because she couldn't make it in time. Looks like she was wrong.

Opening the door, she stepped out and closed it behind her. Kagome sighed deeply and walked into the house. Going up to her room, she got out a clean pair of pjs and went towards the bathroom. Turning on the hot water, she got in and soaked in the scolding hot water.

Inuyasha was completely soaked though with rain and didn't care. The wind had turned cold and it blew hard, he ignored it.

He knew that Kagome had witnessed him with Kikyo, and never in his life had he wished so much that Naraku did kill her the last time when the two had faught. Naraku had peirced her boby and Kikyo fell into the river of masima, and Kagome had removed the posion from her body made of human bones and graveyard soil.

Inuyasha lowered his head and rested it on his knee. The sun had long vanished and the full moon had taken it's place in the sky overhead. He wanted to go see her and beg forgiveness from her, but his feet refused to move.

After what seemed like forever, the moon slowly sank back into the trees as the sun rose to meet the day. Inuyasha finally got up and stretched his aching body. He looked over at the well and walked towards it. She might not want to see him, but he wanted to see her one last time. That is, if she would have him. He jumped in.

Kagome woke with a start and looked around her. She must have fallen asleep in the tub and slept thoughout the night. She got out of the tub and grabbed a towl. The heat had revived her a little, but her blood still felt like ice to her. She put on the cloths and went into the kitchen. The sorrow hadn't disappeared like she hoped, instead it only got worse.

_He would never love me. How could I have thought that he would be over her. I just don't want to hurt anymore. If only I hadn't chose to bring her back then this would have never happened! _She gasped and brought her hand up to her cheek.

_I truely have turned into a bad person. I--I can't let him see me, never. I just don't want to hurt like this anymore. It was stupid of me to tell him my true feelings. How he must have gloated that he got another girl to fall for him. _She walked over to the cabit drewer and pulled out the bottom one. She reached in and pulled out a long knife. She looked the blade over and touched the tip of it with her forefinger. She flinched when it cut her skin and left a tiny drop of blood.

"Inuyasha, I love you and now I wish I never meet you!" She cryed out as she held the knife up to her throat, She paused and thought about it for a second. Did she really want to throw her life away on someone she could never call her own. She shook her head and started to slash at her throat.

Inuyasha walked into the kitchen and saw her about to cut her throat. He dived at her and wrinced the knife out of her grip. She looked at him and more tears began to flow once more.

"I-Inuyasha?" She choked. He held up her head with his hand and looked at the small cut that she had made on her throat. He shuddered at what would have happened if he hadn't have shown up when he did. He threw the knife across the room and hugged her thightly. She tensed and didn't hug him back. He drew back and looked her over.

"Why did you try to kill yourself?" He asked softly.

"Why did you stop me? Without me than you can go and scew that dead woman all the time without worrying about me." Kagome said coldly. "Inuyasha, I--I can't trust you anymore can I?" She asked him and turned her head away. He placed his tumb under her chin and held up her head. He brushed his lips against hers and she slapped him.

"You think you can make this better by a simple kiss! Inuyasha, you've gone way too far this time. Go home and go back to that dead witch." Kagome pushed him away and turned around. Inuyasha looked at her and sighed.

"What can I do to get your trust again Kagome?" She didn't answer. He sighed again and walked towards the door. He bent down and picked up the knife and looked it over. He looked back over his shoulder and sighed a third time. He went out of the kitchen and walked towards the well outside.

With him gone, Kagome colasped into the chair and touched her throat. "I'm such a fool. I should have never tried to kill myself since I couldn't have him. I will never do that again as long as I live."

She got up and walked towards the bathroom to get a bandage for the small cut.

Inuyasha jumped out of the well and walked deeper into the woods. The knife still in hand. He stopped infront of the old tree that Kikyo had pinned him there. Fitting place to meet ones' end. It's where he lost Kikyo forever and found another, Kagome.

But he was too blind to realize that before hand. He looked up at the clear blue sky and sighed deeply. He thrust the knife into the trees' hard wood and walked away. Behind him, the knife stood out, thrust in all the way to its hilt. In the same spot where Inuyasha himself was stuck for fifty years before.

Kagome sat on the chair in the kitchen, she wanted to see him once more. But she couldn't bring herself around to it. After what she had said, he most likely hated her. She prayed that he would forget about her so she in turn could recover her heart.

Many days have past and the hurt would not leave her. She found herself stareing into the well for many hours on end. Her family was worried about her health. She had lost the sparkle in her eyes and she lost the spring to her step.

Her mother knew it had something to do with Inuyasha, but each time she tried to talk to her about it she would brush her away and walk out of the room.

Inuyasha was sitting with his back towards the well, he sighed deeply and got up. Sango and the others where worried about him as well. He didn't even put up a fight when Koga showed up the other day and wanted to pick a fight with Inuyasha.

"Sango, why hasn't Kagome came back yet?"

"Shippo, I don't know. All we can do is wait." Miroku was figiting and stood up suddenly and walked out of the room. He walked into the woods and towards the well. He spotted Inuyasha and stalked over to where he was sitting on the well. Inuyasha looked at Miroku and didn't acknowledge him. Miroku walked up to Inuyasha and slugged him across the face. Shocked and not expecting this, he caught himself from falling into the well and hit Miroku back.

"What the hell was that for?"

"Get off your sorry ass and go to her! Sheez, you're like a puppy who lost his bone! If you want to see her so damn badly than swallow your damn pride and go to her!" Inuyasha didn't answer and turned away from Miroku. Miroku cursed suddenly and hit Inuyasha across the temple. Inuyasha was dazed for a second, long enough for Miroku to push him into the well. Blue light shone as he fell to the bottom of the well, and into Kagome's time.

Kagome was not expecting to see that light anymore. She was in the middle of the process in boarding up the well. She hoped that if she boarded it up, than she wounld quit stareing into it for hours. She looked into it and saw him sitting on his butt and rubbing his head.

Kagome gasped and walked out of the well house and Inuyasha heard her open the door. He jumped out of the well, the wood flying everwhere. He ran over to her and gripped her from behind.

"Kagome!" He said. He could fell her body tremble in his grasp. She turned around and he was shocked to see that she didn't look like herself at all.

"What are you doing here?" She asked quietly. Inuyasha took her into his arms.

"Kagome, I came to beg your forgiveness. I promised you something and I broke that promise. You most likely hate my guts now and wished that I was dead, but please, please I beg of you to forgive me. What I did was low and stupid. I deserve to be alone and I will never bother you again, but I just want to be forgiven. I want to be forgiven more than anything in this world." Kagome blinked and looked at him.

"Inuyasha. . ."

"Kagome, please forgive me. I want to hear those three words again, and if you'll have me, I want you to come back with me." She didn't answer.

"Kagome, please answer me." He said. He touched the tiny scar on her throat. "At least answer this, why did you try to kill yourself?"

She rounder on him. "I did it because of you! You promised that you would never see that dead woman again, and you lied to me. You broke your promise. You almost fucked her! I just didn't want to hurt anymore Inuyasha."

He blinked and looked away. "So, I was right it was my fault. Kagome, I--" He stopped, he wanted to tell her so many things and promise her so much. But, there was no way he could keep all of his promises.

"Kagome, I now understand that you never wish to see me again. It looks like you won't forgive me will you?"

No answer.

"Answer me damnit!" Inuyasha cursed, "Enough with the cold shoulder, you want me to get on my knees and beg! Kagome, what is on your mind? I'm sick and tired of you not answering me, now what do you want? Tell me!"

"You want to know what I want? Fine than, I wish that I never meet you, and that you where dead!" Her eyes widen and gasped. Inuyasha's arms fell to his side and his face went blank.

"Is that how you truely fell?"

She didn't answer instead she backed up from him and turned her back on him. Her hands where clamped together at her chest and tears began to fall once more.

"Very well, Kagome, you will never hear from me again and I won't bother you no more." Inuyasha turned around and jumped back into the well. Kagome fell to her knees and looked beind her.

She stood up and ran after him towards the well. "Inuyasha! Please don't go!" She cried running to the well. Inuyasha jumped out of the well in his time and walked towards the forest, far away from the village. He jumped up into the tree tops and leaped from tree to tree towards his destination.

Kagome jumped into the well and climbed out. She looked around for him but he was no where in sight.

Inuyasha stopped and looked up at the scared tree. He reached up and pulled the knife out of the tree trunk. "You wish I was dead do you? I once said that I do not care about my life, and now Kagome. You shall get what you want." He looked at the knife than at the tree.

Kagome stopped suddenly, dread filling her heart. She suddenly knew where he was, at the scared tree. She didn't know what or whom told her, but she knew that he was there.

Running though the forest, she ran past trees and bushes. Running into the small clearing where the scared tree was, she saw Inuyasha's red kimono before she saw him. He held a knife in his hands and was about to sink it into his heart and her blood turned cold.

"Inuyasha!" She shreiked as she ran towards him. He heard her and didn't turn around. He held the knife up and was about to strike himself when Kagome tackled him from behind. The knife flew to the side and landed in the dirt. Inuyasha fell forwards and hit the ground. He got on his back and looked at Kagome. She had a hold of his kimono in both hands and was crying.

"Please don't do it Inuyasha! Please!" She cried. Inuyasha sat up and Kagome clung to him. He took her into his arms and she looked up at him.

"I thought you never wanted to see me again." He said. Kagome's eyes closed halfway and her face turned red as she tried to stop the tears. She let go of his kimono and flung her arms around his neck and her mouth found his. Inuyasha was shocked by this and blinked.

In the bushes Sango and Miroku where hideing and watching the whole thing, "I knew she wounldn't let him do that."

"And if she hadn't have shown up, I'd have kicked his ass for trying to kill himself." Miroku whispered back to Sango.

Kagome pulled away first and looked into his eyes. He looked back and hugged her tightly.

"Kagome, didn't you wish that you never meet me?"

"I did say that, but I was angry. I never ment anything that I said, Inuyasha. . ." He stood up and helped her to her feet. He shook his head and hugged her again.

Kagome pulled away and smiled at him. "What I said Inuyasha, how I felt for you, it's the truth. I will always love you. Even though you care for another."

"Kagome, Kikyo is dead. I don't love her no more, I did once but that was fifty years ago." He kissed her and Kagome melted against him.

"Kagome, there's one thing I want to ask you."

"What is it?"

"Kagome, when this is over and we're still alive, will you come live with me?" Kagome gasped and blinked away the tears. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard.

"Of course I will!" She said. Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly.

Meanwhile in the bushes, Sango and Miroku highfived. "Score!" They said together. Inuyasha's ear twitched and he looked over at the bushes.

"I know you two are there, and you will pay for easvedropping." He said loudly. Kagome giggled, and Miroku and Sango gulped and looked at one another.

Inuyasha let Kagome go and ran towards the bushes, Sango and Miroku screamed and ran away as Inuyasha chased after them.

Shippo bounded over to Kagome and jumped up onto her shoulder. "Looks like everythings going to be okay."

"Get back here!" Inuyasha yelled, his arms raised above his head and his claws ready.

"Noooo! Forgive us Inuyasha!" Sango yelled. Miroku tripped on a root sticking up out of the ground and tripped her as well. Sango fell along with him. Inuyasha jumped up into the air and Kagome laughed and said sit right before he got over them.

He fell to the ground and started to twitch.

Sango stood up and dusted herself off and jogged over to Kagome. "Well, looks like we, or should I say 'I' got out of that one alive." Kagome laughed as Inuyasha jumped back up and started to chase Miroku again who was already on his feet and running away. Inuyasha pounced into the air and landed on Miroku.

"Rrrrrrrrrrr!"

"Aaahhhhhhhhhh!" Miroku yelled. Everyone burst out laughing.

**_Hello, I hope that you enjoyed that. I had so much fun typeing it, lol. If you want a sequel to it than I want at least 25-30 reviews. The reason why I want so many is because I have three other storys I'm working on. And I really need to get them finished also. Poor Miroku, heeheehee. Like I said I hope you enjoyed it and sorry about the stupid typos. I know there are a few even after I looked over it again and again. Later y'all, peace! ss out! _**


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